I seem to have lost myself again. But sometimes I feel better when I am lost than I ever feel when I ‘found’ by anyone, including myself.
I realize now that I hate…me. Everything that I am or will be. I don’t care if other people “have it worse” or if I’m being a coward, but I just kinda want to be done. I am in school to be a future leader, a guide, a teacher of the future. But, I don’t think, most of the time, that I will make it to see that future, let alone finish school.
This isn’t a suicide note; to bare my soul. This is just me. How I feel right now. Honestly, I hope that no one ever reads this and knows about my shame.